Preface

I am a bit embarrassed choosing motivation related to ADHD for my Data Visualization final project. It’s like there are scenes from a terrifying, bloody horror film playing on repeat in my brain while I trip over my words explaining this to you.

ADHD and I were introduced in 2014. Although, he’s know me a lot longer than I’ve known. He was actually like a stalker; always there creeping in the shadows. I’d catch a glimpse of him every so often, but it wasn’t until four years ago that I realized he was walking along side me my entire life.

I’ve treated him that way since. A stranger, pushing him away, denying his presence and trying to leave him out of everything.

Now that I’ve personified him, I’ll tell you why I am embarrassed to talk about ADHD in front of you. All the time I think, “You’re not smart enough.” “If you could just focus on one thing, you could get so much more done.” “Why does it take you ssssssoooooo long to read this freaking chapter?” “You should be doing your work instead of avoiding it. You’re so lazy and irresponsible.” Why is this embarrassing? Because you feel one, some or all of these things too. Why should I get special treatment, exemptions, passes when these are HUMAN experiences? And, because ADHD is still a damn myth. If I admit I have ADHD, which registering it with SVA as a disability definitely raised my self-esteem, then I may get treated as though I am inferior. I’m not inferior, I’m just not linear (thank heavens).

But if I don’t talk about ADHD, if I don’t invite him to the table and be inclusive, I will keep hiding (and I will deny a very innate essence of my character to be inclusive). The more I hide, the more I deny my reality. I will keep thinking I am less than, inferior, stupid, unintelligent, helpless, immature, ignorant, and list goes on, as you will see.